


Brother by Instinct

by RonnieSilverlake



Category: Blue Exorcist
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-06
Packaged: 2017-11-07 02:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonnieSilverlake/pseuds/RonnieSilverlake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin has always looked out for his little brother. Being an outcast himself, it didn't take him long to understand how much Yukio needed that. In turn, Yukio never needed to actually understand what was happening to his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brother by Instinct

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jxckxe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jxckxe/gifts).



> Written for Jackie, for she is the perfect Yukio to my Rin.

Rin knew he wasn't supposed to just slip away like that - he knew he would have been supposed to just sit down in a corner and wait for  _tousan_  to come pick him up and bring him home. But he just couldn't stand it anymore; the way everyone seemed to shy away from him, never coming closer than a certain distance, giving him those  _dirty_  looks. And even though they didn't say anything directly to him, he could still hear all the whispers, and their earlier words still resonated in his mind along with it.

_Demon child._

_How can he be so insanely strong and wild? He's uncontrollable!_

_Why do we have to care for a child like that? His father should just take him elsewhere!_

_Did he really break his own father's ribs?_

_What a monster._

_No, don't go so near him! He'll hurt you too!_

_He's a demon child._

That one phrase seemed to keep returning to him, growing louder in his head with each repetition, until he just couldn't shut it out anymore. He wanted to scream, to cry - but he had already done his fair share of screaming and crying, hadn't he? Together with destroying. He kept reminding himself of  _tousan_ 's words, that he was going to be alone if he kept being like that - but wasn't he already alone? How could he change, just like that? He had no idea.

And  _tousan_  wasn't coming back for him; he was in the hospital because Rin had hurt him - even if they let him out, would he come back for him? Rin couldn't believe  _tousan_  could smile at him like that right after he had cracked his bones. Rin hadn't realized what he had been doing at the time - all he knew was everyone hated him, and everyone hurt him, and at that very moment,  _tousan_  was together with everyone else, looking at him with those strict, disapproving eyes of his, as if he were about to say everyone was right.

But then, the words he had actually said had been much unlike the ones Rin had been anticipating, and they made him feel so strange - happy and sad and fearful and relieved at the same time - that he just couldn't help crying.

And then, then they took  _tousan_  away, and everyone seemed to calm down, and they started cleaning up the mess he had created, and he just sat down in a corner and tried to invisible. It didn't work much, and as the minutes passed, and the whispers restarted, along with a dull throb in his chest he just couldn't explain, he realized he couldn't stay here.

So, instead of waiting for his father to come back for him, he wandered outside - nobody really seemed to care about what he was doing as long as he didn't get too close to them -, and then he ran for it.

Through mostly empty streets and squares, it took him maybe a quarter of an hour to realize this was actually the very first time he was going home without his father. Of course, it wasn't like he had never paid attention before, so he was supposed to know the way... yet, as he stopped to look around, he found that he was at an altogether unfamiliar place.

He stopped for a moment, tiny face scrunching up as he thought about what he was supposed to do now. No matter which way he looked, there wasn't a single thing he recognized. After a minute of turning around aimlessly, he didn't even remember the direction he had come from. Rin gritted his teeth. He wasn't about to give up, hell no! Okumura Rin doesn't do giving up.

But there was nobody around, and as the last rays of sunshine started to disappear behind one of the rooftops in the late afternoon, Rin began to feel really lonely. Fists clenched and head held low, he darted towards a completely random street, turning left at the second corner, then right at the next, aimlessly, lead by nothing but his pure hope and resolution that after the next corner, he would see the monastery - he'd be home. But that wasn't what was happening; the next street looked just as foreign as the previous one, and the one before that, and so on. And why was there nobody around? In reality, it was a relatively short walk between the monastery and the kindergarten, but Rin had managed to wander through a rather desolate area of this part of the town, where the afternoon rush didn't reach.

It soon started to get dark, and, stopping on yet another square, Rin realized he was feeling really cold. There was no sign of the monastery, or any street he recognized, and slowly but surely, his confidence was wearing off. What if he didn't find his way home, at all? What if  _tousan_  didn't come looking for him, or if he did, but he didn't find him? What was Rin going to do then?

Plopping down on the edge of a nearby fence, the little boy couldn't resist the feeling that was tightening his chest any more. It came in a rush, and he suddenly couldn't make sense of any of his thoughts or emotions anymore. Why did everybody look at him like that? Why did nobody want to play with him? How could  _tousan_  smile like that after he had punched him in the chest? Why could  _tousan_  smile at him all the time, when nobody else could? Was there really a way to not be always alone? Could he do it, truly? Was it worth the struggle? Perhaps it was never going to work. Perhaps he shouldn't even go home... to face the smile of  _tousan_  that hid so many warm feelings, and so much strength, but also all the expectations Rin wasn't sure he could live up to... to face his little brother with the frightening truth that, along with everyone else, he had now managed to hurt their own father as well.

That last thought seemed to do it for him; slowly but surely, bright blue eyes filled with tears for the second time that day, and Rin had to bite into his mouth not to wail loudly. Why was he thinking about wanting to go home or not? He didn't know where to go anyways. He was just  _lost_ , and as the shadows grew around him, the thought seemed more and more frightening with each passing minute.

Though in reality, only about a quarter of an hour passed like this, to Rin, it felt like hours.

"...  _Niisan_?"

* * *

Yukio had always known this one thing; if he was about to get into trouble, his brother was somehow, miraculously, always there. Of course, Yukio never really got into trouble of his own accord (much unlike his brother) - it just sort of happened to him, with the way he seemed to be unable to stand up for himself. He made an easy target, and the only one preventing the others from using such a target was always Rin. Yukio never truly understood how it actually worked; perhaps it was an instinct sort of thing, the kind that only worked between twins. Even if they were nothing alike - or so Yukio thought -, it seemed to work a lot.

Yukio had always felt a bit guilty about it; it felt like it was his fault that his  _niisan_  got into trouble all the time - he had to keep reminding himself that Rin did enough getting into trouble on his own accord, without Yukio being involved. Really, compared to the amount of trouble Rin got into on a daily basis, the ones he got into by protecting Yukio seemed insignificant.

The younger twin never truly understood why Rin had to be so rebellious. To him, it seemed that his brother had a much more likeable personality than his own - so why wasn't he getting along with people? Yet, somehow, the opportunity to ask such a question never really arose, and Yukio just stopped wondering after a while. Perhaps it was a Rin thing; perhaps it would just pass with time. Yukio sincerely hoped his own problems would pass with time as well. He hated being so weak. He wanted to learn to stand up for himself - but he had no idea how. So, for the time being, he was happy that his brother did it for him - and, in return, he made sure that Rin would at least get along with  _him_.

He had been staying home today, because he had had a bit of a fever the day before, but now he was feeling mostly alright, if only a little bit weak. So, when  _tousan_  had called home and told him he was going to be a bit late, and asked him to go and walk Rin home, he didn't mind. It wasn't the first time this happened; sometimes their father had to take care of certain things that came with his priest position, and Yukio and Rin walked home together, just the two of them. He was a lot more responsible than his big brother. The walk home wasn't even relatively difficult to remember, but seeing that Rin was a bit of a goof when it came to these things, Yukio could go pick him up. It was always fun to walk home together with Rin; he had a constant laugh on his face and a lot of silly things to say that always cheered Yukio up, even if he had previously had a bad kind of day.

He was shocked to find, though, once he reached the place, that Rin actually wasn't there. Of course, he wasn't the only one shocked - it turned out that the adults hadn't even realized that Rin was gone till that point - Yukio wasn't sure what to think of that, but he had other things on his mind that were more of a concern to him at that moment; like finding his brother.

Though he believed it to be pure luck to be the one who finally actually found Rin instead of the adults, years later, when he thought back on it, he realized it may had been the same sort of instinctive thing that always made Rin pop up whenever he was on the receiving end of of horrible days. But at that moment, he thought nothing of that; all he felt was relief that Rin was safe, and it took him a moment longer to notice how distempered he looked.

"...  _Niisan_?"

Rin looked up, his heart leaping into his throat as he recognized his little brother through the veil of tears. Of all the things happening, this wasn't what he had been anticipating. Relief washed through him as Yukio stepped to him, not at all hesitantly, and he didn't even truly mind the scolding that was surely about to come.

"Why did you just run away like that,  _niisan_? You should have waited for me!"  _Right on spot_ , Rin thought with a half-smile. "Don't smile at me like that! _Tousan_  is probably already home by now, and everyone was worried sick..." Now,  _that_  was enough to take the smile away. Rin looked away, defeated, and Yukio didn't even need his genius to realize something was wrong. " _Niisan_ , did something happen...?"

Rin was unable to reply at that very moment. All he was capable of was turning his head away as his misery threatened to resurface. Yukio was at a loss for words, and he hated it. Why was it always Rin who knew what to say in these moments? He wanted to be the one who comforts his brother for once, but he had no idea what had happened; he had no idea how to. So, he did the next best thing he could think of: he wrapped his arms around Rin's narrow shoulders, and pulled him into an awkward embrace.

And at the moment Rin's own arms encircled his waist as a response, and his big brother clung to him wordlessly, Yukio realized that perhaps he didn't need to understand, at least not at this very moment. Perhaps it was indeed an instinctive sort of thing.

"Let's go home,  _niisan_ ," he murmured.

* * *

_Epilogue_

Rin's eyes widened slightly the moment his  _tousan_  entered the room. His injuries bandaged by Yukio with the help of the first aid kit, he was now sitting on top of the kitchen table, in the process of trying to remember the order of putting the vegetables together for sukiyaki. He had never actually tried cooking it before, but he'd been trying to figure out the details so he could try.

All the thoughts of cooking flied right out of his head, though, when he saw his father enter. He didn't know what to say, or rather, how to say everything at the same time. But Shirou didn't leave any opportunity for that. He just smiled at the boy - that particular smile -, and opened his arms.

"Come here, you idiot son of mine!" he exclaimed cheerfully. And, as Rin silently obeyed, the words of apology getting caught in his throat as his father ruffled his unruly hair, he suddenly felt with an unbreakable certainty that  _tousan_  probably knew already whatever he was going to say.


End file.
